theawkwardphase

theawkwardphase:

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Hi baby girl. You’re going through a lot right now. Your sister is taking her first photography class and she’s slated you to be her model. You like hearing the word model and your name in the same sentence. It means you’re beautiful, although you hardly fucking believe it. But you’ve…

My story is featured on The Awkward Phase today! Check it out!

thestraightandnarrowshow

thestraightandnarrowshow:

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In The Straight and Narrow — a comedy written by Jane Blackburn Hammer and Tyler Gillespie — four people sign up for a two-day “gay-conversion” seminar. The show explores why people would sign up for a seminar/camp like this and the ways society conditions people to act straight. Gurrrl,…

What? What’s this? She lives? Well, yes. Mostly to promote her own work on the internet so her followers will take notice and come see it. WHY IS SHE STILL TALKING IN THE THIRD PERSON? Whatever, come see my show.

ptk
ptk:

If I could have your attention please!
Today is dedicated exclusively to the birthday celebration of Miss Jane Hammer. This world would be a grossly less funny place were it not for the spitfire tongue of our beloved birthday girl. I pray that I could one day be the sickle to your hammer, or perhaps even assist in a rendition of Hammertime [obviously with you as lead].
xoxo—
PTK

I love you my dearest PTK! Also, LEMME GET THOSE HAMMERS.

ptk:

If I could have your attention please!

Today is dedicated exclusively to the birthday celebration of Miss Jane Hammer. This world would be a grossly less funny place were it not for the spitfire tongue of our beloved birthday girl. I pray that I could one day be the sickle to your hammer, or perhaps even assist in a rendition of Hammertime [obviously with you as lead].

xoxo—

PTK

I love you my dearest PTK! Also, LEMME GET THOSE HAMMERS.

I’m sure the first question here is “what kind of internet K-hole did you find yourself in to come up with a 9 minute video of Elvis Presely being a total ham while filming his comeback special in 1968?” And you would be right to ask that question but for me, the real question here is, do you think you could get 3rd degree burns from the heat coming off of Elvis’s balls in that leather suit?

Seeing things like this make me unbelievably grateful that YouTube didn’t exist when I was 13. Instead of my remakes of Aaliyah and Amy Grant music videos having upwards of 1 million hits, they’ve only been viewed by maybe 6-10 people and are now collecting dust somewhere as a bulky, out of date VHS. The best part of this video is the last minute and a half where it becomes clear that someone’s father is running the show and hoping for an early retirement.

ptk
ptk:

Platinum, Diamond and Sapphire Brooch, Circa 1930.
Designed in the form of a jardiniere, set with 104 old European, round, single cut, and baguette diamonds. Accented by 10 carved-sapphire leaves, mounted in platinum, and signed Trabert & Hoeffer, Mauboussin.

Howard Hughes gave this brooch to Katharine Hepburn during their courtship, which she wore casually. Hepburn wore it in the 1945 film (with co-star Spencer Tracy) “Without Love.”


FIIIIIIIINNNNNEEEEE, I’ll take it.

ptk:

Platinum, Diamond and Sapphire Brooch, Circa 1930.

Designed in the form of a jardiniere, set with 104 old European, round, single cut, and baguette diamonds. Accented by 10 carved-sapphire leaves, mounted in platinum, and signed Trabert & Hoeffer, Mauboussin.

Howard Hughes gave this brooch to Katharine Hepburn during their courtship, which she wore casually. Hepburn wore it in the 1945 film (with co-star Spencer Tracy) “Without Love.”

FIIIIIIIINNNNNEEEEE, I’ll take it.